One and Two

How often do we find ourselves stuck in a way of perceiving a thing, others or self? Certainly it helps to see the deficiency of my bank account if it motivates my to get to work or ask for that raise I have been long overdue for. Perhaps it also would be beneficial to be content with my financial status if I become obsessed about it. It would even better if we had the freedom to use both sides of the coin when ever we deemed necessary. When I say both sides of the coin I am not secluding myself to my bank account. I am also referring to the way we view the entire universe. And when I say view, I am not meaning an idea or belief. I'm not talking about a fake way of existence. I mean something we can feel, something we can be.



From the moment we are born, the moment we become separate, we long to reconnect to our empty nature, our unborn state, yet we cry and claim our indiviDUALITY. Nothingness is constantly calling for us and yet answering sustains the ego. We may then say that one is not two and two is not one, but this is a misunderstanding. We may go on to say that duality comes from unity or that unity is only possible through duality. Again this is not true understanding.



Here is a Poem from the Mumonkan;



If you understand "it," all things are One.

If you do not, they are different and separate.

If you do not understand "it," all things are One.

If you do, they are different and separate.



It may seem here that the emphasis is on Oneness, but if you look closer it is also about things being different and separate. Be that as it may, what is "it?" In order for the practice of Zen to be worth it's salt. It must manifest into our flesh and bones. We must have the freedom and confidence to embody "it" at all times. This means embracing one and two.



If you have ever witnessed a baby crying you may have notice the freedom in the which she did so. It seems to me that this is the original state of the ego and it is not until later that it learns to be ashamed. Due to our environmental influences, as children, we begin to take doubt in one form or another. This means we deny our ego. We deny our self. This causes us to live, if that's what you want to call it, not in a dualistic state but in a state of insecurity. I am not referring to a healthy type of insecurity, say the type that causes you to wear a seat belt, rather a type that effects the state of being. A fear so strong that you seize to live. It is one thing to have enough fear so that you put on your seat belt, but another to have so much fear that you cannot drive. So the practice of Zen is not to loose fear but to feel confidence in fear. This is when fear flows and transforms. When "it" becomes alive.

I have become very interested in energy. At our Zen and Breath Monthly retreats we incorporate some breath work. Breathing is directly linked to the flow of energy through our bodies. The exercise is very powerful and I get many positive responses from it. I myself have have had very strong experiences from it hence my my interest in "it." Recently I took a Level 1 Reiki class. I have been wanting to see if I can sense my own and others energy in order to work with it on a therapeutic level.

It was an all day attunement as they say. The initial message I got was, Reiki is Love. I thought, "Oh how lovely." During my first attunement I remember trying to feel, trying to sense this Reiki. It was quite interesting trying to sense something that is beyond my senses. But then I thought, "this is no different from my Zen practice." I even said to Ruth the Reiki Master, "this feels like Zen." She didn't understand what I meant. During the second attunement I went into this Samadhi and really felt the presence of love. Then a light went off, "Reiki is Love!" Then I thought, "What is Love?" Its funny now that I think about it. "Energy" or "Reiki" has been this big Koan for me and I didn't even realize it. All this time I have been thinking energy this, reiki that. As if it was something different, or something I need to understand. But I have known it all along."It's" not different at all.

We can give love. We can receive love. And we can be love. Not at separate moments, but with an awareness that integrates them all in the same present moment.